Afraid
by xduck
Summary: The only thing to fear is fear itself.


I really shouldn't be here, Gohan thought to himself as he walked down the corridor on his way to Videl's room. The last time they saw each other they'd gotten farther than they should have, and when she told him to come to her house this Sunday he could tell it was so they could do it again

Or even so they could go even farther.

Gohan didn't have a chance to reply at the time, but he'd had some time to think about it since then. Ergo, he should have the sense not to be here. Just call Videl up from home and make up some excuse or other. She'd be mad, sure, but she'd get over it. It would be better than to end up doing something he'd regret, right?

He was still mulling over his dilemma when a familiar voice called his name. Or rather, his new nickname.

"Yo! Son-in-law!"

It was of course Mr. Satan, who was currently relaxing in one of the rooms he was passing. He had on his trademark goofy grin and excitedly waved at Gohan.

"Hi, Mr. Satan." Gohan slightly bowed to show his respect. "How are you?"

"Oh, please." Mr. Satan rolled his eyes. "What's with the formality? And I've told you a million times to call me Daddy. You're as good as being in the family by now."

Gohan only chuckled. Although Mr. Satan was initially suspicious of Gohan's motive as he would any other boy near his daughter, he had come to believe that Gohan was different. It was certainly ironic how things had turned out.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you," Gohan awkwardly said as Mr. Satan tried to chat him up, still trying to be polite. "I'm here to see Videl, so if you don't mind . . ."

"Oh! Of course!" Mr. Satan slapped his forehead. "Silly me, of course you don't want to talk to an old fart like me. Well, then, I'll be out of your way. Does Videl know you're here?"

"Yes," Gohan said quickly, "she knows I'm here. Thanks for your concern . . . Dad."

Gohan then hurried to his original destination, still feeling mixed up about it but a bit more eager what with that unexpected meeting with Mr. Satan.

The door on Videl's room was closed as always and there was loud music playing, and Gohan knocked as loudly as he thought necessary.

First the music was turned off, and then a lazy voice came from inside. "Who is it?"

"It's me," he said.

There was a silence before her reply came, "The door isn't locked. Come in."

He carefully turned the doorknob and walked in, and he had to swallow as he saw her lying on her stomach on bed, poring over a stack of magazines. He thought to leave the door open just in case the alternative was still inappropriate, but she left him with no choice.

"Shut the door," she said without looking at him.

He obeyed and stood by the door as if waiting for more of her instructions.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her lip curling up in mild amusement. She sat up and cocked her head as she looked at him. "Come here. Sit."

Gohan started walking toward her, but halfway there he noticed the chair near the bed and decided to sit there.

"Oh, for Pete's sake." Videl rolled her eyes the way her father did earlier and patted a spot on her bed. "I meant here, next to me. Come on, I don't bite."

He did as she'd said, still without saying anything. She gave him a quick smile and reached for her boombox's remote control lying nearby and turned the music back on, but this time not so loud that they couldn't hear each other talk.

"So . . . what do you want to do?" Gohan asked after watching Videl flip through the magazines for what seemed like forever. In spite himself he felt a little disappointed that she hadn't initiated anything as he thought she would. She wasn't shy, unlike him, and if she hadn't started anything by now maybe it just meant he'd misread her body language the other day.

She didn't even bother looking at him, as if what he just asked wasn't important. "I don't know, Gohan, you tell me."

He thought for a while and carefully started to ask, "Do you think we should talk about . . . you know . . . what happened last time?"

"You mean the time we tried french-kissing when you got really into it you wouldn't even let me breathe?" she responded.

"V-Videl, don't put it that way!" He panicked. Was it as bad as she'd made it sound? He'd assumed the episode had been as uncomfortable but satisfying for her as it was for him, but apparently it was mostly embarrassing for him.

"Well, that's what happened." She casually shrugged and threw him a mischievous grin. "Do you want to try that again? Isn't that why you're here?"

After all this time, her straightforwardness still caught him off-guard. He tried to stammer an answer, "Er . . . I . . . uh . . ."

"It's a yes-or-no question, Gohan," Videl reminded him, a tinge of sarcasm audible in her voice. "Just nod or shake your head, it's that easy."

He closed his mouth and remained quiet as he gathered his thoughts, and when he was ready he opened his mouth again. "It's not just that, really . . ." he said reluctantly.

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure, but Videl . . . have you ever liked doing something and felt guilty for liking it?"

She stared at him. "Not that I can recall."

"Well, I have. And . . . um . . . k-k-kissing you—" His cheeks turned bright red as he was forced to say the "k" word as it was one of those words he didn't mind hearing but preferred not to say it himself. He cleared his throat. "—is one of those things I want to do and feel like I shouldn't."

Videl had to raise an eyebrow at this. She really didn't get it. "Really? Why?"

"I don't know," he mumbled, turning away from her. "It's partly because I feel guilty about betraying your dad's trust, but I think it's mostly because . . ."

She waited.

". . . it's mostly because I'm afraid that if we get ourselves in too deep I can't turn back anymore," he finished.

Gohan thought it was refreshing to hear that from his own mouth. He was never aware of what he was afraid himself, but once he'd said it he knew that was it. It wasn't quite a cause of celebration, though, since once he turned to Videl again he noticed that she looked peeved.

"'_In too deep_'?" she repeated. "'_Can't turn back_'? What are you talking about? Is this relationship a joke to you? I thought you were serious about us!"

Her reaction was nothing like he'd expect.

"I am, I am," he tried to assure her. He would never have agreed on french-kissing her if he didn't love her and was planning on marrying her. He may not have been the true gentleman Mr. Satan thought he was, but he wasn't the kind of guy who would take advantage of girls either. "I'm sorry. I just meant—"

He stopped himself. There was a very likely possibility that he would jumble up the words still in his head and make the situation worse, so in desperation he remembered the old adage about action speaking louder than words and leaned in and kissed her on the mouth for as long as she would let him.

He waited hopefully as Videl blinked and wiped her mouth.

"Oh, Gohan," she said, shaking her head, a frown on her forehead, "don't make a habit of resolving our issues using that technique."

"S-Sorry," he apologized again. "I just . . . I didn't mean that I wanted to get out of this relationship. I was just trying to let you know that I was afraid."

"You were afraid," she echoed.

He nodded. "But I'm not afraid anymore now that I know what it was I was afraid of," he said now in a much steadier voice.

Videl crossed her arms and sighed. "Well, then, I guess I also owe you an apology. I'm sorry I jumped down your throat like that. Now do you—"

She paused.

"Do you want to do what you came here to do?" She smirked before adding, "You know, now that you're not afraid anymore?"

Gohan's first instinct was to say no, but he fought it. Even if he was still nervous and embarrassed about things that could potentially happen, he dared himself to answer, "Yes. Let's."

Videl's smirk turned into a gentle smile and proceeded to put her arms around his neck, but not before she shoved all of the magazines off the bed and turned up the volume of the music playing in the background.

After all, there wasn't much to do but not talk to each other for the rest of the afternoon.


End file.
